Small Little Girl

Celebrating International Day of People with Disability

Today I reflect on this special day, it means a lot to me being a person with significant disabilities, but also working for a disability organisation but also now that i am starting to speak and write about my own personal journey.

I have lived with my main disability for almost 23 years and sometimes I forget just how far I have come. A few months ago I read my poetry book, which has poems I wrote between the ages of 16 and 20. While I was reading these poems I had tears in my eyes as I was taken back to some very painful times in my life, but I am also so happy now that I am not in those moments anymore, and I know that would not be the case if I had not had some amazing people in my life, but also if I had not kept 'reaching higher"..

We all go through hard times in life and sometimes it is good just to sit back, reflect and acknowledge that it is okay, and that is why we are who we are today.

Here is one of my poems I wrote at the age of seventeen. Hope you enjoy.

Small little girl

lost in the world

lost in her pain

where memories are held

She sits down

never standing free

she wants the life

as it used to be

Reaching stretching out

for the hand to hold

her heart used to be warm

now its frozen, its cold

Cant trust a soul

cant live here

friends, love, home

inside i fear

Insecure, frozen

of who I am now

questions in my head

asking how?

Belief that I am evil

belief that I am sin

only vanishes

with a shot of gin

Want to scream

want to cry

want to take a drug

so i can die

I've lived too long

it's my time to go

telling people

they all say no

My body is still here

I pinch it so i know

my soul has left

and wants to go

I want the chance

to say goodbye

to the life i had

but it died

Why it was taken from me

I may never know

but I know inside, my hate

is going to grow

The small little girl

is a crazy 17 year old

who lives for herself

not by what she is told

She's changed alot

since the wheelchair came

though the walking is gone

the feelings are still part of life's game

Need a hug

off my teddy bear

cause that teddy bear

will always be there

The small little girl

is scared of living

she is not good at receiving

but she is good at giving

Her legs took her happiness

confidence and heart

now she is left with her world

that was her's shattering apart.

Keeping reaching higher everyone, things can get better then.

Keep following my journey

#sittinglowreachinghigh #inspiretobreakthrough #inspire #educate #facilitate #motivationalspeaking #Internationaldayofpeoplewithdisability2018

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